


to be loved

by hopeless_hope



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst, Cinnamon roll Newt, Fluff, Gen, Graves is a softie, Hogwarts, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magical Creatures, Newt just wants to be loved, Pickett the Bowtruckle, Protective Theseus Scamander, Queenie is a babe, Sad Newt, except its 3+1 bc I'm lazy, idk how marriage proposals work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-09
Updated: 2018-01-09
Packaged: 2019-03-02 16:36:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13322193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopeless_hope/pseuds/hopeless_hope
Summary: Three times Newt doubted someone's love for him and one time he didn't have to.





	to be loved

__1\. Theseus

The first time Newt asks the question, he's only a first year at Hogwarts. He's laying by the Great Lake, tickling the tentacles of the Giant Squid while Theseus sits beside him, lazily tossing a Quaffle. They're a few months into school and Newt still hasn't talked to many people outside of Theseus. And even then, moments with his brother are few and far in between. Even if it wasn't for the fact that Theseus was in Gryffindor and Newt in Hufflepuff, Theseus has been spending most of his time studying and practicing to hopefully be accepted into the Auror Academy.

Theseus looks at Newt and shakes his head with a fond smile. "Only you would befriend the Giant Squid."

"He's actually very friendly. Did you know that he's saved fifty-seven students who have nearly drowned in the lake over the years?" Newt recites happily.

Theseus raises an eyebrow. "And you're... not concerned that fifty-seven students have nearly drowned here?"

Newt looks down with an awkward smile. "Ah. Well. I suppose that may warrant slight cause for alarm." Theseus just chuckles and gives another shake of his head.

"Surely you've made friends other than the Giant Squid by now?" Theseus asks lightheartedly. "Who could resist that awkward charm of yours?" He says it all jokingly, but inwardly, Theseus is quite worried about his younger brother. Their mother sent him a letter saying that Newt actually plead with the Headmaster to be allowed a weekend visit home. Newt claimed he merely wanted to check in on the hippogriffs, but looking at his brother now, Theseus knows it's just an excuse.

The Giant Squid withdraws back into the lake with a wave of his tentacles and Newt seems to deflate back the sullen kid Theseus has watched his brother become since coming to Hogwarts.

"I don't think others find my awkwardness particularly charming," Newt says mildly. Brightening up again, he continues with, "But speaking of charming, I did meet a rather charming Niffler by the Forbidden Forest the other day! I named him Hugo. He'd found a spectacular silver-plated pen and was absolutely bursting to show someone. He was quite proud when I told him what a great find it was."

Newt had always harbored a fascination for creatures of all sorts, but now Theseus can't help but be somewhat amazed at how Newt not only manages to consistently bring any given conversation back to creatures, but he also totally transforms whenever he does. His whole demeanor opens up and eyes shine in a way that only ever seems to happen when talking about or interacting with creatures.

"You do realize that the Forbidden Forest is actually _forbidden_ , right? It's not just to sound dramatic," Theseus says jokingly. Newt reddens, realizing his mistake.

"Yes, well, I did say Hugo was _by_ the Forest, didn't I? So technically, no rule-breaking was actually done. Besides, no harm done and all that," Newt argues matter-of-factly. Theseus turns his gaze to the heavens with an exasperated sigh. "I suppose there's no stopping you anyway."

The brothers sit in companionable silence for a bit, Theseus continuing to toss the Quaffle into the air as Newt gazes out across the lake. Theseus takes the opportunity to examine his brother. He frowns as he picks up on the dark circles around Newt's eyes, clearly not sleeping nearly as much as he ought to. His posture remains hunched, which Theseus recognizes as an unconscious effort to remain as unobtrusive as possible. And though his attention is on the soft ripples of the lake, his eyes frequently divert their attention to his surroundings almost anxiously, as though expecting something to jump out at him.

Stilling the Quaffle, Theseus looks at Newt seriously, deciding to voice his concern.

"Newt?" he begins carefully. Only when his brother holds his gaze does Theseus continue. "I know this transition into Hogwarts hasn't been the easiest on you. It's just... you'd tell me if anyone here was giving you a hard time, right? Because you know I'm here for you."

Newt tenses and looks away, clearly flustered by the question, and Theseus knows immediately that his assumption isn't entirely wrong at least. When he's met with continued silence, Theseus raises an eyebrow and prompts, "Newt?"

Unable to ignore his brother, Newt lets out a long sigh. "It's, ah. It's complicated? I think. Maybe.”

Newt falls silent again, jaw opening and closing, trying to figure out exactly what it is he wants to say. Theseus waits patiently, used to the way his brother occasionally trips up on words, just another little odd quirk of his.

“Um. Someone – wait, you. Ah, it’ll just sound so _silly_ but I – why do you even – _do_ you even – and I would completely understand if, if maybe you don’t? But I can’t help but wonder – “ Newt stops, completely unsure of how to continue.

“Newt,” Theseus cuts in gently. “It’s okay, I promise. Ask what you’d like to ask, and I won’t get mad.”

There’s another moment of silence before Newt finally blurts, “You love me, right?”

Theseus takes a moment to wonder if he possibly heard the words incorrectly before they sink in and all he sees is _red_.

“What the _fuck_?” he snarls, immediately regretting it when Newt visibly shrinks back.

“You promised not to get mad,” Newt says in a small voice, and Theseus allows his face to soften even though his blood is boiling, because _somebody_ must have said something to his baby brother to even put the idea in his head and once he gets his hands on them…

“Newt, I’m not mad at _you_ , I promise. Of _course_ I love you. You know that.” Theseus reaches out to lift Newt’s chin up. “I love you just as you are. Now. Back to my original question: what the fuck made you ask such a thing?”

“It’s not really that big of a deal? Just, you know that I’m rather awkward with people and of course others have picked up on it. I think they expected Theseus Scamander’s brother to be a lot different than, well, me. So they’ve just. Said a few things?”

Theseus clenches his fists angrily. “ _Who_? I want names, Newt.”

“Theseus, no! Please don’t. Let it go, really it doesn’t bother me. And besides, people aren’t very kind to what they don’t understand.”

Theseus opens his mouth to protest but halts at the puppy eyes staring at him pleadingly. Lord knows Theseus could never resist Newt when he made that face. Instead, Theseus settles for a deep scowl.

“Well, if I personally hear about anyone else messing with you, I can’t be held accountable for my actions.”

Newt scoffs. “Of course you can. They’re _your_ actions.”

Theseus reaches out to ruffle Newt’s hair affectionately. “Since when did you become so cheeky, brother mine?”

“I get it from you, ‘Seus,” Newt says, grinning.

“Ah, well, I suppose I am the best, aren’t I? Good thing you’re my favorite little brother.”

Newt raises an eyebrow. “Theseus, I’m your _only_ little brother.”

Theseus just looks at him, eyes growing serious again. “So? You can still be my favorite. Guess I just love you too damn much.”

-:-

2\. Newt’s parents

“I managed to get his wand back, but there really is nothing more I can do. I’m sorry.”

Newt’s head is hanging shamefully, silent tears rolling down his face. He’s steadfast in his decision, but it doesn’t make it any easier. His father keeps a firm hand on his shoulder.

“We understand. Thank you for all that you’ve done, Albus. You have our deepest appreciation. Come on, Newt. We must go now.”

There is a moment, just before he turns to leave with his mother and father, that Newt’s eyes lock with Dumbledore’s piercing blue ones. It is in this instant that Newt realizes that somehow Dumbledore knows it wasn’t his fault, knows he’s doing this to protect someone. There’s sad understanding and resignation in the older man’s eyes as he gives Newt a last nod.

When they arrive back home late in the afternoon, Newt immediately heads to out to the pastures to greet the hippogriffs. There are a couple foals he hasn’t gotten to meet yet, and he knows Artemis has missed him terribly. Besides, his parents have barely spoken a word to him and the silence is suffocating on top of all the shame and disappointment.

As soon as Artemis catches sight of Newt, she gleefully trots over and they make quick work of the bows before Newt’s arms are wrapped fiercely around his beloved companion. The regal-looking hippogriff snuffles his hair gently, clearly ecstatic to have her human back.

“Oh, Artemis, I’ve missed you terribly. Things have been…” Newt can’t even make it through the next sentence before the weight of it all starts to press in on him and he’s leaning all of his weight into the giant winged creature.

“I can’t,” he croaks miserably. “They hate me, but I just _can’t_. I’m so sorry. I-I’m so, I’m sorry.”

For the first time since it all went downhill, Newt allows himself to feel every emotion: the guilt, shame, self-loathing, determination, longing. He can’t stop himself from openly sobbing against the soft feathers and warmth of his friend. Artemis trills in concern and brings her wing up to wrap comfortingly around her human.

Newt’s not sure how it’s been before he’s being shaken awake by his mother. At some point he’d ended up on the ground with Artemis curled around him protectively as he fell asleep. Now he can see dusk has fallen and his mother is looking down at him, eyes full of love and sadness for him.

“I figured I’d find you down here. I had a rather difficult time convincing Artemis here that I should be allowed to speak with you,” she says, eyes sparkling with amusement.

Newt rubs his eyes tiredly, wincing at the feeling of dried tears on his face. And judging by the way his mother is looking at him, he know he must look awful.

“What time is it?” he wonders.

“It’s a quarter past eight. You missed dinner, but there’s a plate staying heated at the house. Your father and I decided it was best to let you be on your own for a little while.”

Newt looks away, the feeling of shame resurfacing. He can’t imagine how disappointed his parents must be in him, how they must feel about him throwing away so much of what they’ve worked for. While Theseus is an accomplished Auror rapidly rising through the ranks of the Ministry, Newt’s being expelled from school.

“Mother, I – I know you and Father must hate me right now, don’t you? I truly am sorry, but everything just – _oof_!”

Newt is entirely thrown off from the little speech he’d had prepared when his mother flings her arms around him, hugging him tightly. Whatever words he’d had planned are smothered as his head is pressed to his shoulder and her hand cards through his hair softly.

“Newt, darling, how could you even _think_ such a thing? Of course your father and I don’t hate you. We’re _worried_ about you, and we don’t know how to help. We’re not stupid, and we know our little Newton too well to believe you’d willingly put another’s life in danger. We’re confused, for sure, and quite concerned but in no way do we hate you. We could never,” she says passionately.

Tears burn at Newt’s eyes all over again, and he sags into his mother’s embrace, relieved. He’s left Hogwarts for good which sucks (kind of?), but he’s also free of the anxiety that’d been bubbling within him at facing his parents’ disappointment.

Newt can’t help but think that the worst, at least, is over.

-:-

3\. Tina and Queenie

He’s been back in America for over a month now.

At first, he’d thought it’d be awkward seeing Tina and Queenie again, but after the initial (and slightly uncomfortable) greetings, they’d fallen into easy chatter. They ate dinner and exchanged the happenings in each other’s’ lives.

Newt was pleased to hear how well Tina was doing now that she’d been placed on the Investigative Team. He was even more pleased to hear that it her guidance and hard work that lead them to find the real Percival Graves who, after weeks of recovery, was able to be reinstated as Head of the DMLE and Director of Magical Security.

The day after his arrival, Newt went to MACUSA with Tina and was introduced to Director Graves. He couldn’t seem to stop himself from being hopelessly awkward around the admittedly handsome man, and Tina seemed quite amused with it all.

After that, Newt settled into a routine of traveling around North America and studying its various magical inhabitants, and then coming back to the sisters’ small apartment to share dinner every few days. It was a nice arrangement, allowing them each to focus on their career while still taking quality time to spend with each other.

Now they’re into their seventh dinner together, and Newt is animatedly talking about his time visiting Frank in Arizona, while Tina and Queenie listen attentively.

“It’s the most amazing thing, you know. All of his feathers have regained their sheen. Even in my case, they were still a bit dull from his time spent being chained and trafficked. But now? He is an absolutely radiant creature, you can see how happy he is. He’s even found himself a flock to be a part of!”

The sisters are smiling fondly at their friend, genuinely excited for him and glad to hear that Frank is doing well.

And Newt is just thrilled to have someone he can talk to about his creatures. Sure, his parents and Theseus are always more than happy to listen and read his letters, but there’s something that’s just so nice about finding people who aren’t in any way obligated to listen.

Most people have always looked at him with disdain for his fascination with magical creatures. Newt could barely look a person in the eye, but a Nundu? No problem. And people could never seem to love or accept that about him.

But these two seem to accept him and all of his rambling and awkwardness, and it’s almost too good to be true. And as Newt sits back to listen to Tina tell a story about some gutsy prank a couple Junior Aurors pulled on Director Graves, he feels doubt start to creep in a little.

_What if… What if it is too good to be true? What if they’re just humoring me and they actually think I’m very annoying but are too kind to say it? I mean, I’d understand. Why would they even care about any of this anyway? Or even about me, honestly._

Newt has almost convinced himself that he’s just wasting their time and is just about to excuse himself when –

“Teenie, what do you say we make a quick toast?” Queenie says enthusiastically, already raising her glass. She waits until Newt and Tina follow suit, before continuing. “To Newt Scamander, for being so adorably awkward and extremely lovable, and to the fantastic beasts that brought us together!”

Tina cheers in agreement, and the trio clink glasses as Newt’s face reddens with embarrassment. Despite that, though, his body relaxes back into the chair and he suddenly feels foolish for his earlier doubts.

Newt briefly catches Queenie’s eye, and she wears a smug expression and offers him a wink. Newt’s even more embarrassed at having been caught.

Queenie just laughs.

-:-

+1 Percival Graves

Percival is a fucking wreck.

He was the youngest Auror to ever been made Director of Magical Security, he’s been tortured by the darkest wizard of all time, and he’s wrung confessions from criminals with nothing more than a stare.

So it is nothing short of absolutely preposterous that he’s practically shaking with nerves at the mere _thought_ of asking one simple question.

And really, the hardest parts of it were already over. He’d barely even made the decision himself when Queenie came bursting into his office, squealing with excitement. She seemed to completely forget all sense of professionalism.

“Of course, I approve! Oh, Percival, this is wonderful. It will be a lovely occasion and – oh! – you’ll probably want to talk to Theseus and – oh my god - honey, you would look fabulous in lilac.”

Percival sighed and wiped an exasperated hand over his face. She’d managed to catch the attention of his entire department and they were all looking on with varying degrees of confusion, amusement, and shock. Tina was halfway out of her seat, ready to make her way over to them.

Percival just shook his head and waved his hand. _Later_ , he mouthed.

Then, turning to Queenie, he raised an eyebrow. “Miss Goldstein, as much as I appreciate your enthusiasm, I do believe you have a job to be doing three floors down from here?” He tried for a pointed glare, but it seemed Queenie was immune to all things gruff, because she just gave him an excited hug and bounded off with another squeal.

That whole debacle was nothing compared to the headache that was confronting Theseus Scamander.

Contacting his British counterpart had been easy enough. They’ve consulted on quite a few cases over the years, and once Theseus had learned of Percival’s acquaintance with his younger brother, Theseus enlisted his help with keeping an eye on him. The two of them had become decent friends.

But then came the significantly more difficult part: dealing with Theseus Scamander’s reaction.

“I am both absolutely delighted – I mean, really, I couldn’t think of a better man than you – and absolutely _horrified_ ,” Theseus said. “Merlin, is this even real? My baby brother…”

Graves watched with increasing terror as Theseus narrowed his eyes and drew himself to full height. “If you ever hurt my brother, in any way, I will destroy you. Don’t even try to hide, because I will have the entirety of the British Ministry of Magic on your ass before you can say ‘Quidditch’. Capiche?”

He’d never admit this to anyone, but it took every ounce of Auror training Percival had in him to not cower. He reminded himself that he’d faced Gellert fucking Grindelwald.

Lifting his chin up high, he met Theseus’ intense stare and replied with, “Good. Because if it came to that, that’s exactly what I’d deserve.”

Theseus held his gaze for a second more before relaxing into a giant grin. With a bright clap to the shoulder, Theseus announced, “Well, this is splendid news! I am so happy for you. We should celebrate!”

Percival's pretty sure he got whiplash from that conversation.

It took Percival weeks to make it around to all the habitats without Newt catching on to anything. The chat with Pickett was exhausting as hell, considering Pickett is literally just a walking branch but. He’d had a long talk with the Nundu and a quick chat with Hugo.

When he’d finally gained the blessings of all the creatures, Percival had the distinct move that he’d also been placed at the top of their hit list if he ever so much as stepped a toe out of line with Newt.

So now Percival is standing in the case waiting for Newt to finish his rounds, and he knows Queenie and Tina are standing just outside the case and – oh god – is it just him or is it getting hotter?

And before he realizes it, Newt is walking towards him with a smile and greets him with a quick kiss and this is what he wants to come home to everyday, and Percival doesn’t even remember deciding to get down on one knee, but _there he is_ and he’s opening a velvet box and

_Where the fuck is the ring?_

Percival stands up and whips around, eyes narrowing at the guilty-looking niffler.

“No. Hugo. We _talked_ about this remember? ‘No stealing the pretty, shiny ring for Mummy’? Does that ring a bell? Not cool. Get over here or you’re staying in the Nundu’s habitat all night,” Percival threatens.

Hugo, at least, has the decency to look guilty and timidly hands over the ring.

“ _Thank_ you,” Percival huffs.

Throughout all this, Newt is watching with a look of shock and total amusement. He can’t really be blamed for the laughs that escape him because this? This is just too good.

Percival turns to him, exasperated. “Darling, could I try this again, please?”

Newt just laughs and waves his hand. “By all means, go for it.”

Percival gently lowers himself to the ground again and looks Newt dead in the eye.

“Newton Scamander. We have been literally tortured by the same dark lord, and we have shared so many unforgettable adventures together. It is absolutely insane and you make my job so hard because you break an average of 2.6 laws a day and you have little to no sense of self-preservation when it comes to your creatures, and Newton Scamander. I love you more for all of that every single day and I, quite honestly, can no longer imagine not coming home to you. I love you so much, and it would be an honor to walk alongside you for the rest of my days.

Will you marry me?”

Dead silence.

Percival holds his breath, worried that maybe he’s made a mistake and it’s too soon. But then Newt is crying against his shoulder saying, “Yesyesyes!” over and over again and they only barely register Tina and Queenie cheering from the shed.

And Newt kind of just can’t stop crying because he’s never felt more loved than in this moment, in Percival’s arms.

And this time, there’s just no room for doubt.

**Author's Note:**

> listen. I'm not a romantic person at all so it's SUCH a struggle for me to write those things. also it's, once again, almost 3AM and I cranked this out over the last three or four hours. therefore, it's not edited. I'll try to at some point? no promises. please please please leave a comment telling me what you think, or even just a kudos so I have an idea! thank you so much for reading, and I hope you enjoyed!


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